"Is it wrong that I wanted to underline every single word in this book? Simmons brilliantly crystallizes contemporary girls’ dilemma: the way old expectations and new imperatives collide; how a narrow, virtually unattainable vision of ‘success’ comes at the expense of self-worth and well-being. Enough As She is a must-read, not only for its diagnosis of the issues but for its insightful, useful strategies on how to address them."—Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex
"A brilliant and passionate call to action that reveals how girls and young women are suffering in our toxic culture of constant comparison and competition. This is the book parents need to change girls’ lives and guide them to truly become happy, healthy, and powerful adults."—Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabees
From the New York Times bestselling author of Odd Girl Out, a deeply urgent book that gives adults the tools to help girls in high school and college reject "supergirl" pressure, overcome a toxic stress culture, and become resilient adults with healthy, happy, and fulfilling lives.
For many girls today, the drive to achieve is fueled by brutal self-criticism and an acute fear of failure. Though young women have never been more "successful"–outpacing boys in GPAs and college enrollment–they have also never struggled more. On the surface, girls may seem exceptional, but in reality, they are anxious and overwhelmed, feeling that, no matter how hard they try, they will never be smart enough, successful enough, pretty enough, thin enough, popular enough, or sexy enough.
Rachel Simmons has been researching young women for two decades, and her research plainly shows that girl competence does not equal girl confidence—nor does it equal happiness, resilience, or self-worth. Backed by vivid case studies, Simmons warns that we have raised a generation of young women so focused on achieving that they avoid healthy risks, overthink setbacks, and suffer from imposter syndrome, believing they are frauds. As they spend more time projecting an image of effortless perfection on social media, these girls are prone to withdraw from the essential relationships that offer solace and support and bolster self-esteem.
Deeply empathetic and meticulously researched, Enough As She Is offers a clear understanding of this devastating problem and provides practical parenting advice—including teaching girls self-compassion as an alternative to self-criticism, how to manage overthinking, resist the constant urge to compare themselves to peers, take healthy risks, navigate toxic elements of social media, prioritize self-care, and seek support when they need it. Enough As She Is sounds an alarm to parents and educators, arguing that young women can do more than survive adolescence. They can thrive. Enough As She Is shows us how.
“This book is an essential resource for educators committed to building girls’ resilience as learners.”
— Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success and Professor of Psychology, Stanford University
“A brilliant and passionate call to action that reveals how girls and young women are suffering in our toxic culture of constant comparison and competition. This is the book parents need to change girls’ lives and guide them to truly become happy, healthy, and powerful adults.”
— Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabees
“Simmons tackles the “college application industrial complex,” perfectionism, defensive pessimism, and other factors that undermine teenage girls’ confidence and happiness... [Enough as She Is] persuasively demonstrates that girls can replace the toxic cultural imperative for “more” with their own vision of a fulfilled life.”
— Publishers Weekly
“A fascinating read that provides ideas for combatting the “not enough” ideals that are devastating young girls.”
— Library Journal
“Rachel Simmons’ clear, insightful and practical new book, Enough As She Is, provides a lens through which to understand the phenomenon of self-criticism, perfectionism and body shaming that is feeding this crisis.”
About the Author:
Rachel Simmons is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls and The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence. Cofounder of Girls Leadership, a national nonprofit, she is a leadership development specialist at Smith College and is the Girls Research Scholar in Residence at The Hewitt School in New York. She lives in western Massachusetts with her daughter.