“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” “We’ve just grown apart.” “I married you for all the wrong reasons.” “I’ve never really been happy in this marriage.” “I feel dead inside.” If any of this sounds familiar to you, I know the devastation you are feeling right now. That’s why I wrote this book. It’s not for people who have garden variety marital problems. There are lots of other books for them. It’s for people whose marriages teeter dangerously on the brink of divorce. It’s for people who, more than anything else in the world, want to do whatever they can to make their marriages work and keep their families together. I wrote this book for you. For two decades I’ve been helping couples make their marriages more loving. I’ve been teaching them new relationship skills and new ideas about what it takes to keep friendship, passion and love alive. No one is more optimistic than me about the possibilities of turning around even the most troubled of marriages. I urge you to find out the reason for my optimism. Learn everything you need to know about saving your marriage. --- from the author's website A revolutionary program for saving troubled marriages. In the United States, half of all marriages end in divorce. These alarming odds do not take into account the millions of couples who, though not divorced, have resigned themselves to living in loveless marriages. Therapist Michele Weiner-Davis has helped thousands of couples beat divorce and make their marriages more loving. Now she offers couples the skills they need to become their own marriage experts and bring their marriages back to life. Drawing on the responses of readers to her bestselling book Divorce Busting - Michele has created a proven seven-step program couples can follow to revitalize their marriages, no matter how severe the problems! Unlike other self-help books that address the needs of those in relatively stable relationships, Michele takes on the challenge of offering down-to-earth, psychobabble-free help to those who need it most. In her engaging personal style, Michele becomes a relationship coach, teaching couples how to identify specific marriage-saving goals, move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting, and become experts on "doing what works." Inspirational anecdotes and in-depth case studies show how couples teetering on the brink of divorce have used these techniques to save their marriages. Michele also offers solution-oriented strategies readers can use to overcome infidelity, depression, sexual problems, and mid-life crises. And because in these rocky marriages, one partner already has a foot out the door, this seven-step program is a recipe for change even if only one partner participates. Practical and realistic, The Divorce Remedy is an innovative approach to building stronger, more loving relationships. Table of Contents: Introduction PART 1 THE DIVORCE TRAP Chapter 1 – The Not-So-Great Escape Part 2 SEVEN STEPS TO SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE Chapter 2 – Step Number One ~ Start with a Beginner’s Mind Chapter 3 – Step Number Two ~ Know What You Want Chapter 4 – Step Number Three ~ Ask for What You Want Chapter 5 – Step Number Four ~ Stop Going Down Cheeseless Tunnels Chapter 6 – Step Number Five ~ Experiment and Monitor Results Chapter 7 – Step Number Six ~ Take Stock Chapter 8 – Step Number Seven ~ Keeping the Positive Changes Going Chapter 9 – Pulling It All Together PART 3 COMMON DILEMMAS, UNIQUE SOLUTIONS Chapter 10 – Infidelity Chapter 11 – Dealing with the Depressed Spouse Chapter 12 – Surviving His Midlife Crisis Chapter 13 – Overcoming Passion Meltdown Chapter 14 – Expect the Impossible Comments and reviews: Finding your way back to a loving marriage is challenging. But Michele Weiner Davis gives you the road map. Her optimism about saving marriages teetering on the brink of divorce is contagious! - John Gray, Author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus _______________ Poignant, powerful, practical, full of hope. Michele Weiner Davis lives up to her reputation as one of the foremost marriage educators of our culture. She informs, inspires and lovingly guides us to the promised land of love. - Pat Love, Author of The Truth about Love _______________ If divorce threatens a friend or loved one, this is the book I would give them. The Divorce Remedy offers hope and inspiration along with practical strategies to fit almost any marriage. Michele is a national treasure for married people. - Bill Doherty, Department of Family Social Science, University of Minnesota _______________ If you are thinking about divorce – stop!! Put the process on hold and read Michele’s book. It will give you both the hope and the tools that you can use to not only save your marriage, but to have a great love relationship over a lifetime! - Howard J. Markman, Co-author of Fighting for Your Marriage _______________ Michele Weiner Davis has pioneered how to help couples build lifelong marriages. The Divorce Remedy offers, in one volume, practical steps that any couple can take to nourish an average marriage, or reconstruct a deeply troubled one. - Michael J. McManus, President, Marriage Savers _______________ If you think yours is a hopeless case – that your marriage can’t be saved – buy this book! Do it for your children and your grandchildren. - Diane Sollee, Founder and Director of SmartMarriages.com and the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education _______________ The Divorce Remedy is an important book for couples. Michele Weiner Davis offers practical solutions for the real issues that make marriage either pleasurable or miserable. If readers follow her advice, they will develop a stronger and more loving bond with their partner. - Jon Carlson, Psy.D., Ed.D., ABPP, Past President, International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors _______________ I love this book! Ever since I read Divorce Busting, I’ve been a big fan of this author. I’ve gotten so much out of this new book. My husband is in the middle of a mid-life crisis and I couldn’t believe how well this book describes what it has been like to be living my life. I’ve gotten lots of good ideas about how to cope with my feelings and how to avoid saying things to my husband that would make him even crazier than he already is right now. I also think my husband is depressed, and the chapter on trying to save your marriage when your spouse is depressed was also helpful to me. In fact, all the chapters about specific problems like infidelity and sexual problems were extremely helpful to me. _______________ What I like about this book even more than her other one (Divorce Busting) is that it really explains clearly how to try to save your marriage when your spouse’s heart isn’t in it. I’m still waiting for my husband to come out of his mid life crisis, but in the meantime, this book has given me enormous hope. I recommend it highly. _______________ In my desperate quest to rescue my endangered marriage, I have had a few sessions with Michele Weiner-Davis and can personally attest to her sincerity and her expertise. She wants you to save your marriage and she knows how to do it. _______________ If your marriage is in serious trouble, if your spouse is talking about divorce, if you are separated, even if papers have been served, and you are willing to work hard to reverse this, then buy this book and follow Michele’s 7-step program. She will help you stop the behaviors that are pushing your spouse further away and clear your thinking of damaging preconceptions. Then, you will establish realistic goals and develop ways to monitor your progress. Once your marriage is turned around, she will help you keep these changes permanent. In addition, there are in-depth chapters on dealing with some of the more difficult situations such as infidelity and mid-life crises. Michele has saved literally thousands of marriages. So get this book and, as Michele says, roll up your sleeves and save yours. _______________ Think of this book as emergency room training for marriages that are about to collapse. Unlike other books on relationships, this one focuses on what to do after you spouse has moved out, taken up with someone else, or has said that she or he wants a divorce. What do you do now? Michele Weiner Davis appears to have written this book to correct some misimpressions she left in her book, Divorce Busting (which I have not read). Here, she makes it clear that you can be your own marriage counselor, and you can succeed even if your spouse won't agree to work on the marriage. Based on her experiences as a marriage counselor, Ms. Davis feels that almost any marriage has the potential to be saved. She also points out that divorce is no bed of roses. The statistics back her up. Most people are happier, healthier, and wealthier in marriages than divorced. Children obviously do better. Unfortunately, many friends, family, counselors, and the media encourage divorce as a way to reduce the near-term pain . . . while creating more long-term pain. Did you know that 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce? Some people don't learn is the lesson. Only you know whether you want to save your marriage or not. This book will help you make that decision. Ms. Davis encourages you to save your marriage unless your spouse is a chronic source of physical abuse, substance abuse, or unfaithfulness and your spouse refuses to change in any one of these areas. The end of the book has several chapters for dealing with very severe problems like infidelity ("most marriages do survive infidelity"), a depressed spouse, the classic male mid-life crisis, and having sexual passion cool to the disappearing point. The centerpiece of the book is a process for going from where you are miserable, defeated, and don't know what to do to the point where you are taking action and have created a chance to mend the problem. Did you know that most people have felt miserable enough to get divorced for 6 years before they announce their intention to solve the problem or leave the marriage? Obviously, not every marriage can be saved . . . even if one of the partners wants to do so. But these methods will help improve the odds. Many of the concepts in the book are similar to those in Dr. Phil McGraw's excellent book, Relationship Rescue. Perhaps this book could have been called Retrieving Your Marriage after It Seems Gone. You are encouraged to look at your marriage and relationship from a new perspective. What's going on? What do you really want? Have you told your spouse? Stop doing things that don't work or make the situation worse! Do more of what does work. Experiment. Build on positive success. Each section is filled with case histories, including Ms. Davis's own life and experiences. Some of them are really hilarious. One couple agreed that they would change the rules about fighting. They could only do so with their clothes off. This kept them from fighting in public and in front of the children. When the husband starting taking his clothes off, the wife started laughing and soon the fight was over. Whenever another fight would begin, the memory of that episode would bring them both to laughter rather than more anger. The key point of the book is that you have to work on yourself. Changing you will elicit an improved response from your spouse. The book is full of examples of spouses who came back to the marriage when the behavior that was driving them crazy abated or stopped. Having been divorced, I found the book to be honest and realistic. I certainly did not know what to do to solve the problems in that marriage. Having remarried, I certainly intend to apply the lessons of The Divorce Remedy to make my marriage a better one! I recommend this book to couples who are getting ready to marry. The section on the marriage map will be very valuable for describing what one can expect from a successful marriage. I also recommend Relationship Rescue for those whose marriages need mending, but have not yet broken down. If you are looking for a divorce lawyer, pick up, read, and apply this book! May your marriage meet all of your goals . . . and those of your spouse! Remember to recognize what you cannot change, and be accepting where it isn't really important! - Donald Wayne Mitchell _______________ Practical and realistic, The Divorce Remedy is an innovative approach to building stronger, more loving relationships.
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