If only he could see things from my point of view." "Why does she have to act that way?" No matter how much two people love each other, their differences will eventually cause conflict. This popular, science-based guide offers powerful solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. True acceptance of one another may seem difficult to accomplish, but the clear-cut steps in this book can make it a reality. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and vivid stories, readers learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; what communication strategies really work to resolve conflicts; and how to problem-solve and make positive changes--together. Updated throughout with new research, practical tools, and examples, the second edition features a new chapter on mindfulness.
"It is often so difficult for quarreling couples to find a way through the thicket of blame, accusation, and resentment that ensnares them, but this splendid book illuminates some pathways out. The first edition was terrific, but this revision goes beyond it, bringing in new research, fresh ideas, and, as usual, practical solutions. All couples who find themselves enduring repeated conflicts--which is to say, nearly all couples--will benefit from this fine book."--Carol Tavris, PhD, coauthor of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
"When partners fight, they often push each other to change. But seeing conflicts from the other's perspective helps move the couple away from anger and blame. This invaluable book provides concrete strategies to do just that. With a deeper understanding of your partner's emotional vulnerabilities, you can build trust and intimacy, and maybe even bring about the changes that matter most to you."--Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD, author of After the Affair