When a man showers all of his attention on a woman, it can feel incredibly romantic, and can blind her to hints of problems ahead. But what happens when that attentiveness becomes domination? For certain people, the desire to control leads to jealousy, threats, micromanaging--even physical violence. Lisa Aronson Fontes draws on both professional expertise and personal experience to provide practical guidance and support for readers who find themselves trapped in a web of coercive control. Understanding this destructive pattern and why it occurs is the first step toward repairing or ending a relationship that has become toxic. Readers get vital tools for determining if they are in danger and if their partner can change--and for getting their freedom back.
Reviews and Endorsements:
"Dr. Fontes makes the dynamics of coercive control understandable to everyone. In plain language and with clear examples, she describes the tactics of domineering individuals and their effects on victims. Dr. Fontes is particularly thoughtful about including diverse couples and families. After reading this book, no one will be able to ask, 'Why does she stay?'"--Juan Carlos Areán, Director, National Latin@ Network for Healthy Families and Communities
"This book is gripping and nuanced. It will be extremely helpful to anyone grappling with issues of coercive control. As a therapist with decades of experience, and a person who has been in coercive relationships, I learned a great deal. The stories of women and men from wide-ranging backgrounds pulled me in deeply. Complex, profound ideas are expressed in easy-to-read language. A 'must-have' resource!"--Janine Roberts, EdD, past president, American Family Therapy Academy
"Fontes's writing is clear and vividly illustrated with real-life stories from her decades of work helping abuse victims become survivors. Invisible Chains is a hopeful book that shows a way out of coercive control relationships and illustrates the promise of healing and recovery."--Jeffrey L. Edleson, PhD, Dean and Professor, School of Social Welfare, University of California, Berkeley
About This Book
I. What Is Coercive Control?
1. Controlling Behaviors
II. Why Coercive Control Happens
2. Why Some Men Control Their Partners in This Way
3. Why Some Women Get and Stay Involved
III. Coercive Control in Special Populations
4. Different Gender Arrangements and Coercive Control
5. Teenage Victims of Coercive Control
IV. Ending Coercive Control
6. Are You Being Victimized?
7. Are You Staying? Expecting Change?
8. Ending the Relationship
9. Feeling Like Yourself Again: Recovering from Coercive Control
10. If Someone You Care About Is Being Victimized by Coercive Control
About the Author:
Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD, has a doctorate in counseling psychology and has worked in the areas of child abuse, violence against women, and difficult family issues for over 25 years. A professor, researcher, and popular conference speaker, she teaches at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She survived a relationship that included coercive control and stalking.