Sex matters. It is a crucial part of whom we are and what to do. So why do we police what is ‘normal’ and what is ‘bizarre’? As Estela Welldon argues in this insightful book, whenever we disapprove of others or ourselves in this way, we close our eyes to a deeper understanding of human nature.
Dr Welldon is an internationally recognized expert on sexual diversity. As a psychiatrist, she has also worked inside prisons with sex offenders, so she is familiar with the extremes of ‘oddity’. Here, she uses a psychoanalytic framework with humour, insight and clarity to explore why we disapprove, and what we lose when we do. She presents us with a series of interwoven vignettes, drawn from clinical work and life experiences, which have led her to these conclusions.
Dr Welldon argues in this book that as human beings we have a responsibility to develop a much more enquiring and open mind, and to feel privileged rather than disgusted when we have access to primitive fantasies that shine light into the dark corners of minds not considered ‘normal’.
Be ready to live dangerously as you read these pages. The pursuit of understanding will take you deep inside the primitive and archaic origins of our present attitudes.
All artworks by Ricardo Cinalli. Photographs by Ferdinando Maria Carabott
Reviews and Endorsements:
‘Dr. Estela Welldon, the doyenne of forensic psychotherapy, has written a delightful new masterpiece. Though only one hundred and thirty-two pages long, this beautifully illustrated book serves as a mighty encapsulation of Welldon's nearly sixty-year career as a mental health practitioner. Stunningly, if provocatively, illustrated by the talented artist Ricardo Cinalli, Welldon's book investigates the forensic state of mind in which human beings act out, often ending up in painful sexual situations, rather than talking about, or thinking about, their dangerous desires or the potential consequences. This new tome builds helpfully upon Welldon's classic Mother, Madonna, Whore: The Idealization and Denigration of Motherhood and upon her many other standard works. Pleasantly, Welldon has, this autumn, published not only Sex Now Talk Later but, also, an updated version of her popular text on Sadomasochism, now published under the title Sadomasochism in Art and Politics. I recommend both books most enthusiastically as essential reading for all practitioners of the psychological arts.’
—Brett Kahr, Senior Fellow at the Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships, in the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology, London, and, Senior Clinical Research Fellow in Psychotherapy and Mental Health at the Centre for Child Mental Health
Prologue—The inflatable sex doll
2) Sexual release without words
3) Punishable by external and/or internal law: public or intimate outcry
4) Rape and sexual abuse in childhood
5) What women have that men do not
6) A question of pornography?
7) Insights gained about female prostitution from Hollywood films
8) Understanding versus judging murder by going to the opera
About the Author:
Dr Estela V. Welldon, MD, HonDSc, FRCPsych, is an Honorary Consultant Psychiatrist in Psychotherapy at Tavistock and Portman NHS Clinics. She is the Founder and the Honorary Life President of the International Association for Forensic Psychotherapy. In 1997, she was awarded an Honorary Doctorate in Science by Oxford Brookes University. Welldon works privately as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist and organizational consultant. She is a Member of the British Association for Psychotherapy, the British Psychoanalytic Council, the Institute of Group Analysis, the American Group Psychotherapy Association and the International Association for Group Psychotherapy. She is the author of Mother, Madonna, Whore: The Idealization and Denigration of Motherhood (1988) and Sadomasochism (2002) and is the main editor of A Practical Guide to Forensic Psychotherapy (1997).