After this seminar, you will be able to describe:
• Assumptions about what it means to forgive
• Why current models of forgiveness offend so many
• Why narcissists refuse to forgive and others forgive too easily
• A radical, new alternative which allows hurt parties to become physically and emotionally healthy—without
forgiving an unapologetic offender
• Concrete guidelines for helping offenders (such as unfaithful partners) earn forgiveness
• Guidelines for helping hurt parties foster forgiveness
J&K Seminars Home Study Program - 6 hours CE credit
Assumptions About What It Means to Forgive
• Is forgiveness good for us?
• Is forgiveness a private gift or an interpersonal exchange?
Cheap Forgiveness & Refusing to Forgive
• Why narcissists refuse to forgive
• Why others forgive too easily
• Why refusing to forgive and forgiving too cheaply are unhealthy
Acceptance - A Radical Alternative
What hurt parties can do to heal themselves, including:
• Release their obsessive preoccupation with the injury
and need for revenge
• Frame the offender’s mistreatment in terms of the offender’s personal damage and life stresses
• Correct misperceptions about the offender and the offense
• Challenge their official story about their innocence
• Forge a relationship with offenders that serves their best interests
What offenders must do to earn forgiveness, including:
• Challenge the assumptions that block their ability to make meaningful repairs
• Bear witness to the pain they caused
• Make an effective apology
• Seek to understand their behavior so they never repeat the transgression
• Work to earn back trust
An Experiential Exercise
What hurt parties can do to foster forgiveness
About the Presenter:
Dr. Spring is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. She received her B.A. from Brandeis University and her Ph.D. from the University of Connecticut. She completed a post-doctoral fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania, supervised by Dr. Aaron Beck.
She is the author of the award-winning books, After the Affair: Healing the pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner has Been Unfaithful (Amazon’s #1 best seller in its category of couples and family therapy); How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not To, and her latest, Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent.
In private practice for 35 years, Dr. Spring is a Board Certified in Clinical Psychology, a recipient of the Connecticut Psychological Association’s Award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and former clinical supervisor in the Dept. of Psychology at Yale University.
The originality and clinical richness of her work make her a popular media guest on programs such as NPR, GOOD Morning America, and SirusXM Radio, She trains thousands of therapists each year at professional venues such as The Smithsonian Institute, Smith College, The Ackerman Institute, and Kripalu.
She and her husband love in Westport, Connecticut , and her have four sons and four grandchildren. More at: www.janisaspring.com