A practical guide for parents, teachers, counselors, and others on how to help children turn their anger into a tool for self-knowledge and self-mastery
How should we respond to a child's temper tantrum? To a teenager's sullen resentment? How can we help children and teens experience their anger without being overwhelmed by it? How can we deal with their anger before it leads to depression, isolation, or even violence? Now, in Healthy Anger, Bernard Golden draws upon more than twenty years of experience as a psychologist and teacher to offer specific, practical strategies for helping children and teens manage their anger constructively. Unlike many who suggest that anger should be repressed, Golden argues that anger is a natural human emotion intricately connected with a range of other thoughts and feelings. He stresses that anger, when properly understood, tells us more about our own wants and needs than about the person or situation that has caused the anger. Golden has developed a set of skills that parents, teachers, and counselors can use to show children how to identify the causes of anger; how to respond to anger in ways that lead to an internal sense of competence and self-control; how to use anger to understand their own emotional situation; and how to develop a greater capacity for empathy towards themselves and others. And he shows parents how to cope with outbursts--including clear, step-by-step instructions and problem-solving skills--how to derail escalating anger, reward good behaviors, and recognize when professional help is needed.
For anyone who has ever helplessly confronted a child's rage or a teenager's defiant fury, Healthy Anger offers a wealth of wise insight, clear advice, and eminently practical strategies for turning anger into understanding.
--from the publisher
"At first, Healthy Anger seems like an oxymoron. But Bernard Golden helps us understand how anger can be not only normal, but essential to healthy growth--if we know how to guide and control it. And Golden shows us in plain, easy steps how to help our children do just that."--Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D., author of Raising a Thinking Child
"Healthy Anger is a comprehensive sourcebook of practical information for parents. A vital message in this book is that anger does not need to lead to violence. Highly recommended."-- Charles+E.+Schaefer++,+Ph.D.,+Professor,+Psychology+Department,+Fairleigh+Dickinson+University
"Golden+confirms+what+I+have+long+suspected--the+origins+of+adult+'toxic'+anger+reside+in+childhood.+I+found+the+discussion+of+'child+logic'+and+shame+especially+helpful.+I+will+be+a+better+anger+therapist+for+having+read+this+book!"+--W.+Doyle+Gentry,+Ph.D.,+author+of+Anger-Free : Ten Basic Steps to Managing Your Anger
"Most approaches to anger management and treatment attempt to teach people to eliminate anger or express it differently. This usually results in people bottling up their anger and holding it in. This eventually fails and the person explodes. Healthy Anger stresses the ubiquitous nature of anger and the adaptive functions it serves. The experience of anger can help people identify a problem in their environment that they need to address. This book teaches parents to help their children evaluate their environment and their emotional reaction to it. Golden's writing style is clear and crisp, and the book's inclusive nature will help parents to help their children."--Raymond A. DiGiuseppe, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology, St. Johns University
Table of Contents:
I Understanding and Recognizing Anger in Children and Teens
1 The Key Component for Anger Management: Your Relationship with Your Child
2 Guiding Principles of Healthy Anger
3 The Adverse Effects of Anger
4 A Comprehensive View of Anger
5 How Children and Teens Express Anger
II How to Apply the Model of Anger with Your Child or Teen
6 General Guidelines for Using the Model of Anger
7 Identifying Emotions Associated with Anger
8 Identifying and Confronting Self-telk Based on “Child Logic”
9 What Does Your Child Really Want or Need?
10 Making Sense of Anger in the World Around Us
11 Relaxation: A Primary Task in Managing Anger
12 I Need to Think About It
13 Okay, I'm Ready to Talk About It
14 Acceptance and Forgiveness
III Special Considerations
15 Rewarding Behaviors
16 Responding to Escalating Anger
17 Anger, Hostility, and Aggression: The Need for Special Support
Resources / Movies / Publications / Bibliography
About the Author:
Bernard Golden teaches in the Illinois School of Professional Psychology, Chicago, and is a therapist in private practice, offering workshops to teachers, mental health professionals, parents, and adolescents. He is a co-author of New Hope for People with Bipolar Disorder and lives in Chicago.