Children have four basic needs for healthy emotional and neurological development—to feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure. The underlying way to meet this need is for parents to “show up,” and the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline show us—with scripts, strategies, and tips—to show up in both big and small ways over the course of childhood.
Good news for parents everywhere: all you’ve got to do is show up, with extra points for imperfection!
The research is very clear: for a child’s brain to become wired in ways that are emotionally protective and happiness-inducing, they need one person to predictably (not perfectly) show up in a way that makes them feel consistently safe, seen, soothed and secure. As bestselling author Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reveal, however, none of the “Four S’s” of showing up involves sideline cheering or a helicoptering presence. Instead, it is a guiding parenting principle that is simple to implement in all kinds of situations. With stories, scripts, strategies, illustrations, and tips, they demonstrate what showing up looks and sounds like whether our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for not “showing up” for them. A reassuring book book with an inspiring message, The Power of Showing Up shows that mistakes and missteps are never irreparable and its never too late to repair broken attachment and trust. The key is showing up.
“Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have spun a miracle—The Power of Showing Up is the ultimate guide to family reconnection. Clear, profound, and charmingly-illustrated, it unravels the challenges of modern parenting and reveals the simple truths about what children really need from the adults in their lives.”—Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus
“Parenting at this moment in time and at today’s pace feels hard. But that makes it all that much more important that we try to simplify the process of parenting and not put quite so much pressure on our own parenting shoulders. The Power of Showing Up will help you do just that. Siegel and Payne Bryson are master teachers when it comes to helping parents react and respond to kids in ways that communicate ‘I hear you.’ They articulate and quantify how to make your parenting easier—and better!”—Christine Carter, Ph.D., author of Raising Happiness
“Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have written their best book yet—and that is saying a lot. They have distilled their parenting wisdom—based on neuroscience research and a deep empathy for children’s needs—into a profound concept: showing up. It is one of those great ideas that seems so obvious—but only after someone has shown it to you and spelled it out clearly. Best of all, Siegel and Payne Bryson ‘show up’ for the reader of this book. They know parents, know their fears and anxieties, hopes and dreams, and they provide an accessible path to seeing and soothing children and providing them with safety and security.”—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of Playful Parenting
“An essential book for every parent who yearns to be more effective and present and, simply, better. It shows us that we don’t have to be perfect, but we can make our kids feel more secure and confident (now and in the future) if we are present and aware as parents. This important book gives us the steps to follow to make this happen.”—Harold S. Koplewicz, M.D., president, Child Mind Institute
“Rarely does a book so broad and deep of subject give you the small doable steps to find your way to success, confidence, and connection with your children. The Power of Showing Up brings to life the Zulu greeting ‘Sawubona’ (I see you) and the refrain ‘Ngikhona’ (I am here), which are essential for the parent-child connection.”—Kim John Payne, author of Simplicity Parenting and The Soul of Discipline
“Drs. Siegel and Payne Bryson teach us how a parent can make a child feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure, even if he or she didn’t have that in their own childhoods.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising Cain
“Siegel and Bryson provide relatable real world examples and . . . specific advice for handling various situations. . . . Parents looking for solid research delivered in an accessible manner will find Siegel and Bryson getting the job done well yet again.”—Booklist
About the Authors:
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, the founding co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center, and executive director of the Mindsight institute. A graduate of Harvard Medical School, Dr. Siegel is the author of several books, including the New York Times bestsellers Aware and Brainstorm and the bestsellers Mindsight, Parenting from the Inside Out (with Mary Hartzell), and with Tina Payne Bryson, The Whole-Brain Child, No Drama Discipline and The Yes Brain. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, with welcome visits from their adult son and daughter.
Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., is a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist, the director of parenting for the Mindsight Institute, and the child development specialist at Saint Mark’s School in Altadena, California. She keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world. Dr. Bryson earned her Ph.D. from the University of Southern California, and she lives near Los Angeles with her husband and three children.