The facts of life have never been more complicated for gay men. While the threat of AIDS has been diminished by new treatments and longer life expectancy, HIV remains a serious and intractable foe. In this affirming guide, therapist Michael Mancilla, himself HIV-positive, helps fellow gay men, both single and partnered, pursue the happy and fulfilling love life they deserve. Readers will find advice on everything from meeting Mr. Right and talking about HIV status to building the long-term relationships that many never expected to have. Candid first-hand accounts reveal how others in the community are negotiating safer sex, overcoming legal and financial hurdles to plan for the future, learning to accept care as well as give it, and crafting the kinds of intimate relationships they want, whether that means casual sex, dating, or permanent commitment. Smart, honest, and insightful, this book is written from the heart.
* The real deal from someone who knows: Mancilla is both an experienced therapist and an openly HIV-positive gay man
* Frank advice that's not preachy or judgmental
* Includes personal accounts and interviews
* The only book on the complexities of HIV status in relationships today
Table of Contents
1. Tell and Kiss: The Skill of Disclosure
2. Transitions: Reflection, Resilience, and Opportunity
3. Love in Contrast: Negative and Positive
4. An Indian Summer Romance: Positives with Positives
5. Jumper Cables and Relationships: Negatives with Negatives, Mark Wojcik
6. In Sickness and in Health: Your Body and Your Relationship
7. Lazarus and Survivors: Those Who Continue
A. Legal Protections for Couples with HIV, Liz Seaton.
Michael Mancilla, MSW, LICSW, is a Washington, D.C.-based psychotherapist who specializes in working with individuals, couples, and families affected by HIV/AIDS. He is a frequent presenter at national and international conferences. Mancilla's story of the impact of HIV on his relationship was the subject of a Washington Post Magazine article and a CNN documentary, and was cited in a front-page story in The New York Times.
Lisa Troshinsky is a writer and editor in Washington, DC. She has reported on HIV/AIDS and gay and lesbian issues for The Washington Blade, The Houston Chronicle, and United Press International.
"A Baedeker for the weary and wary, Love in the Time of HIV, like all good guides, delivers on both the personal and practical levels. Stories from the road, including Mancilla's own anecdotes, keep the journey in constant motion and show a vulnerability and familiarity with the field which seronegative tour organizers would probably lack. And the many valuable resources included alone make this book worth the cover price."
-Edmund White, author of A Boy's Own Story and coauthor of The Joy of Gay Sex
"Love in the Time of HIV provides a range of useful and accessible information for all gay men, regardless of their serostatus. Practical knowledge, cultural insights, guidance, and personal sharing round out a very complete resource for those seeking to navigate the complex world of modern dating and relationships."
-Lin Maslow, RN, HIV Clinical Research Nurse, San Francisco
"This book touches on many of the important issues that face gay men in the age of HIV: meeting, making connections, sex, dating, rejection, and commitment. A truly valuable contribution."
-Daniel W. Hicks, MD, Department of Psychiatry, Georgetown University Hospital
"Mancilla helps readers navigate complicated issues and dilemmas and find the love and intimacy they want."
-Vincent J. Lynch, MSW, PhD, Boston College Graduate School of Social Work
"Over 20 years into the HIV/AIDS epidemic, this book is long overdue....Wise, insightful, and useful."
-Michael Shernoff, MSW, Columbia University School of Social Work
from the publisher's website