We have all had experiences in which we feel unworthy, insufficient, inadequate, defective, flawed, underserving, damaged, imperfect or lacking.
These feelings may be more profound at work, a social setting, friendships, romantic relationships or with your family. In an effort to eliminate these feelings you may find yourself constantly seeking affirmation or approval from others. In the absence of that you are left feeling flawed. Or you may hold yourself back from pursuing what you really want because you fear failure. How do you stop feeling like you're not good enough? You might find yourself accommodating others in an effort toreceive approval. How can you stop seeking affirmation from others? You may rely heavily on the opinion of others before you make a decision. How can you be solid in yourself when you make decisions? You may avoid situations in which you receive feedback about anything to do with you. How can you hear criticism without internalizing it as another message that you're not good enough?
Perfectly Flawed will provide you with a way to understand your feelings and change your perception of yourself as well as the influence of others. First, you will look at the source of your suffering. Suffering cannot be alleviated until the source is identified. Understanding what started this cycle of negativity in the first step in eliminating it.
Michelle Skeen, PsyD, is a psychologist specializing in relationships and schema therapy; author of Love Me Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships and The Critical Partner: How to End the Cycle of Criticism and Get the Love You Want ; co-author of a book for clinicians, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Interpersonal Problems: Using Mindfulness, Acceptance, and Schema Awareness to Change Interpersonal Behaviors, and the companion self-help workbook Interpersonal Problems Workbook: ACT to End Painful Relationship Patterns, host of the radio show Relationships 2.0 with Dr. Michelle Skeen on KCAA 1050AM and part-time faculty at Notre Dame de Namur University in Belmont California. Dr. Skeen lives and works in San Francisco. She provides therapy for individuals and couples using schema, cognitive, and behavioral therapies to address interpersonal issues, weight management, anger, depression, anxiety, disabilities and trauma.