Barbara Child put her heart and soul into a letter to her partner, Alan Morris, while he was at the cottage they shared in Florida and she was away at school in California. He was a Vietnam War veteran, and she was taking a seminary course on war—in particular, the Vietnam War. She turned in her letter as a term paper for the course, calling it “An Open Letter to a Vietnam Veteran.” A little more than two years later, the war finally took its toll on Alan. He put a Colt .45 to his head and pulled the trigger. Barbara read part of her letter as the eulogy at his memorial service. That letter led to one thing, then another. Eventually, Barbara began analysis with a Jungian psychologist and shared the letter with him. She began talking more and more about Alan. She began writing more and more about Alan. From those writings came this book. The book gives a partner’s-eye view of post-traumatic stress and moral injury relentlessly taking their toll on the body, mind, and soul of a veteran who served as a medic in the Vietnam War. The book also shows how Jungian dream work with an expert, caring analyst can bring forth memories and the meaning of memories both sought and unsought. Ultimately, this book is both a labor of love and an impassioned outcry on behalf of all victims of war, whatever their part in the suffering. Reviews: “Barbara Child’s … memoir … shares the intimate stories of a combat medic and a home front peace activist during and after their wars at home and overseas. We learn how both were indelibly reshaped by the horrors of that war.” – Edward Tick, author of War and the Soul and Warrior’s Return and director of Soldier’s Heart, Inc. “I find the writing marvelous.” – Jonathan Shay, author of Achilles in Vietnam: Combat Trauma and the Undoing of Character and Odysseus in America: Combat Trauma and the Trials of Homecoming “This beautifully written memoir succeeds on any number of levels.” – Thomas M. Grace, author of Kent State: Death and Dissent in the Long Sixties “Barbara Child’s book … is beautifully written, with compelling material that is as applicable today as it was then. Only the terrain of the wars changes.” – Margaret O. Ryan, Senior Editor, Psychological Perspectives, a Quarterly Journal of Jungian Thought “Barbara Child has given us the moving and desperate reality of her life as a partner of a Vietnam veteran. … [W]e are brought up short against the dehumanizing consequences of war.” – Laura Waterman, author of Losing the Garden: The Story of a Marriage “Memories of a Vietnam Veteran chronicles Barbara Child’s journey to wholeness, examining her life and that of her partner Alan, a combat medic who committed suicide 26 torturous years after returning from Vietnam. As a detective might piece together a crime scene, Child follows the threads of her psyche-soma and external evidence to piece together Alan’s life and hers through memories, dreams, and reflections, along with social justice activism, her Unitarian Universalist ministry, Taoism, depth psychology, and grief rituals. As she quotes the poet Wendell Berry, ‘The impeded stream is the one that sings.’ And indeed it does.” -Arnie Kotler, coeditor with Maxine Hong Kingston, Veterans of War, Veterans of Peace Table of Contents Preface 7 Author’s Note 9 Prologue – Agents Provocateurs 13 PART ONE A Lifetime Is Too Narrow to Understand It All 21 Chapter 1 – Living in Florida 23 Chapter 2 – An Open Letter to a Vietnam Veteran 51 Chapter 3 – Dying in Florida 79 Chapter 4 – Mementos, Memorials, and a Ritual of Grieving 99 PART TWO I Will Wait for You 109 Chapter 5 – Alan Will Be Coming Soon 111 Chapter 6 – Digging Deeper 123 Chapter 7 – Bringing Forth 133 Epilogue – The Sword and the Snake 151 Afterword – In Country 157 Acknowledgements 169 For Further Reading 171 War – Accounts from War Correspondents and Veterans 171 Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Moral Injury 176 Edward Tick’s Journeys of Healing and Reconciliation 179 The Anti-War Movement and the Killings at Kent State 184 Jungian Psychology, Analysis, and Dream Work 192 Poetry and the Search for Meaning 193 Sources Cited in the Text 194 About the Author 197 About the Author: Barbara Child began her professional life teaching English at Kent State University, where she barely escaped the National Guard’s gunfire on May 4, 1970, gunfire that took the lives of four students, wounded nine more, and changed many lives, including hers. She became an attorney, first practicing poverty law and then teaching as a plain legal language advocate in law schools and among state legislative drafting bureaus. In 1996, she became a Unitarian Universalist minister. Retired now from full-time ministry, she consults with churches in transition and serves on a national support team for ministers coaching other ministers in difficult circumstances. She is what she calls a “writing fool,” also happily devoting her time to editing collections of essays and meditations for use in transitional ministry. She lives in a log cabin in the woods of Brown County, Indiana.
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