This book looks at how our brains, minds, bodies and emotions interact to create our experience of sexuality, and how we can create a sense of sexual self-esteem and a nutritious sexual diet for ourselves. As Laffy notes in her Introduction, "we think and talk about sex as something we do, rather than sexuality being something that we have; and being sexual, as something that we are. We talk little about feeling sexual or the emotional and relational reasons for sexual desire; about the fact that it is usually an 'other' that we want to be sexual with. Our focus seems to be on how much sex we can have rather than how we want to express ourselves sexually."
This book challenges the cultural commodification of sex and sexuality, and encourages the reader to experience "being sexual" rather than "doing sex" or "looking sexy". This is crucial to our development of sexual self-esteem, particularly in an era of ubiquitous online pornography. It offers help recovering from sexual shame and the sexual abuse and violence that are so pervasive in our society, and it does all this in an affirming, accessible yet psychologically sophisticated way, making it suitable for lay readers and therapists alike.