Sex-positive parenting begins before your child starts talking. In No Shame: Real Talk With Your Kids About Sex, Self-Confidence, and Healthy Relationships, New York City Psychiatrist Dr. Lea Lis offers a guide to parents as they seek to help their children through the maze of sexuality and intimate relationships in the 21st century. In clear, straightforward terms, she lays out the groundwork on which parents can help their kids grow up to enjoy positive sexual experiences, and backs up her arguments with data from the most recent surveys and studies of teen sexual behavior.
Dr. Lis' unique Mindful Kid practice in New York is well recognized as an approach that emphasizes the mental healthcare of the child, exploring underlying issues to truly help children and their families move through and beyond their concerns to a place of healing and connection.
In No Shame, Dr. Lis covers the many issues that may arise as children grow: how to help young children understand personal physical boundaries; the importance of opposite-sex role models in children's lives, what to tell - and not tell - your kids about your own sexual history; and the role of rituals to mark a girl's first period or a boy's passage into manhood. Dr. Lis gives practical pointers on how to help your kids when their relationships run into trouble, how to encourage them to have good relationships with themselves, and how to teach them to flirt and to deal with rejection.
No Shame shows how talking to your kids about sex and encouraging them to keep a dialogue open with you will help them to have positive, joy-filled emotional and sexual relationships as they grow up. This may not always be comfortable, but as Dr. Lis shows throughout this book, talking about sex, love and relationships in a knowledgeable way is essential.
"Dr. Lis is an inspiration. Her book helps shine a light on so many topics that have been otherwise ignored, cloaked in silence, and masked with shame. My life's work is centered around combatting public health epidemics by treating depression, and creating tools for suicide prevention. Dr. Lis and I share the same vision: that suffering is treatable and lives can be saved if we break down barriers of stigma, shame and misunderstanding that have existed across generations. No Shame helps finally bring critical topics to the surface, normalizing issues that should have never been defined by shame. It will help kids learn to express their boundaries, and instil sex positive beliefs to foster resiliency. This is an indispensable guide to navigating the challenges of bringing up kids in today's world."
–Dr. Kelly Posner Gerstenhaber, recipient of the Department of Defense Medal for Exceptional Public Service and Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University
"Refreshingly contemporary, No Shame addresses how parents can help kids navigate conflicts and the challenges of growing up in the world of #MeToo and social media."
–Cristina Cuomo, founder and editor of The Purist
"Dr. Lea Lis' brilliant book explains that when parents own their sexual story, it allows them to pass down intergenerational wisdom - not trauma. No Shame addresses the prevalent shame and fear around sexuality, and Dr. Lis' fresh approach to communication with children on those awkward topics gives parents the tools they need to help their kids develop body positivity, self-esteem, and healthy romantic relationships."
–Dr. Shefali Tsabary, bestselling author of The Conscious Parent
"Dr. Lea Lis provides parents with a field manual of evidence-based practices to help us discuss the dos and don'ts of relationships, intimacy, and sex with our kids. Drawing on her decades of work in the trenches as a clinician and her own experiences as a parent, the Shameless Psychiatrist has given us a treasure trove of tools and techniques that you will come back to again and again."
–Jess P. Shatkin, MD, MPH, author of Born to Be Wild, professor at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, and host of About Our Kids
"I wish I'd had a book like this that brought up vocabulary and ways to talk to your kids about self-confidence, boundaries, and healthy relationships when I was raising my kids."
–Susan Sarandon, Actor and Activist
"Dr. Lea Lis has written the modern guide on talking to kids about sex. Part parent, part sex therapist, and part coach, Dr. Lis addresses countless topics parents often shy away from simply because they're uncomfortable; her guidance is both sound and sage, backed by science and written with tact and grace. No Shame helps us separate fact from fiction in healthy child sexual development."
–Goali Saedi Bocci, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and author of The Millennial Mental Health Toolbox
"Dr. Lea Lis offers parents many practical insights on when, why, and how to engage in open and developmentally appropriate conversations about sexuality. If the thought of talking with your child about sex makes you uncomfortable, this book is for you."
–William C. Wood, MD, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine
About the Author:
Lea Lis is the Shameless Psychiatrist. She is a double board certified adult and child psychiatrist who has been working with non-traditional family arrangements since the beginning of her psychiatric career. Dr Lis helps parents, children, and adolescents face challenges and develop healthy, sex-positive attitudes and practices in their lives. In her own private psychiatric practice (Mindful Kid) she has developed expertise in working with modern families of all types. She has appeared as an expert on parenting in programming by ABC, CBS, NBC, and other news outlets, as well as newspapers such as The Chicago Tribune and The Washington Post. She is active in the American Psychiatric Association, having served as a member of their National Ethics Committee and on the Board of Trustees, and her publications have appeared in the Journal of Psychiatric Practice and the Journal of Academic Psychiatry.