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Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
Lisa Damour, PhD
Bantam Books / Softcover / Apr 2017
9780553393071 (ISBN-10: 0553393073)
Parenting Teens
price: $24.00
368 pages
In Stock (Ships within one business day)

The New York Times bestselling guide that teaches parents what is PREDICTABLE and NORMAL about their teen daughters’ often worryingly extreme behavior, and provides CONCRETE ways to form a healthier, happier relationship with their girls.

Lisa Damour, Ph.D., DIRECTOR OF CLEVELAND’S FAMED LAUREL SCHOOL’S CENTER FOR RESEARCH ON GIRLS, draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct—and absolutely normal—developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups, including: Parting with Childhood, Contending with Adult Authority, Entering the Romantic World, and Caring for Herself.

Providing REALISTIC SCENARIOS and WELCOME ADVICE on how to engage daughters in smart, constructive ways, Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions, including:

My thirteen-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her, and only does it more when I get angry with her about it. How should I respond?

Do I tell my teen daughter that I’m checking her phone?

My daughter suffers from test anxiety. What can I do to help her?

Where’s the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder?

My daughter’s friend is cutting herself. Do I call the girl’s mother to let her know?

Each chapter contains ADVICE TO HELP GUIDE GIRLS THORUGH EACH PASSAGE and a “WHEN TO WORRY” SECTION in each chapter helps parents know if their daughter is facing unusual difficulty with a particular stage.


“Finally, there’s some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls, and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news. [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth, readable parenting book I’ve come across in a long time.”—The Washington Post

“Anna Freud wrote in 1958, ‘There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.’ In the intervening decades, the transition doesn’t appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource.”—The Boston Globe

“Damour offers a hopeful, helpful new way for parents to talk about—and with—teenage girls…. Parents will want this book on their shelves, next to established classics of the genre.”—Publishers Weekly

“For years people have been asking me for the ‘girl equivalent of Raising Cain,’ and I haven’t known exactly what to recommend. Now I do.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of Raising Cain

“An essential guide to understanding and supporting girls throughout their development. It’s obvious that Dr. Damour ‘gets’ girls and is one of the few experts in the field who works with them day in and day out. She clearly understands the best way for any adult to help them navigate the common yet difficult challenges so many girls face.”—Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabes

“Untangled is a gem. Lisa Damour deftly blends insights from her clinical experience working with girls, time-honored wisdom on adolescence, the latest social science and neuroscience research, and frank descriptions of cultural trends and media messages. From the moment I read the last page I’ve been recommending it to my clients (including those with sons!) and colleagues, and using it as a refreshing guide in my own work with teenagers and their parents.”—Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee

“An arsenal of strategies to respond to your daughter’s ever-changing brain, feelings, and choices, Untangled will become your dog-eared travel guide to the mysterious world of teenage girls.”—Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out

“So chock-full of practical wisdom that I read it straight through twice, then recommended it to every person I know who has a daughter. This book will, no question, make you a better—and a saner—parent of your adolescent girl.”—Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls and Sex

“There are books about teenagers that are smart. And there are books about teenagers that are practical. Lisa Damour, thankfully, provides us with one that is both. With palpable empathy and understanding for adolescent girls and their families, Damour equips parents with a flexible blueprint for anticipating challenges and encouraging growth in their daughters. If you have a daughter (or were a daughter!), Untangled is mandatory reading.”—Madeline Levine, Ph.D., author of The Price of Privilege

“This is the book parents have been waiting, hoping, and praying for, because it’s far more than a book. It’s a map, flashlight, and GPS device for navigating the landscape of adolescent girlhood. Dr. Lisa Damour proves to be the perfect guide and companion: wise, whip-smart, and relentlessly practical on every page. As the father of three teenage girls, I wish I’d had this book years ago—and I hope that it is read by every parent, teacher, coach, administrator, and human being who wants to help girls grow and thrive in today’s world.”—Daniel Coyle, author of The Talent Code

“In exceptionally clear prose, Lisa Damour—a clinical psychologist—skillfully blends research analysis, psychological insight, and stories of girls and their families into a compelling narrative about what’s right about our daughters. She illuminates the seven transitions that girls must untangle to become fully themselves, with each offering a corresponding opportunity for parents to stretch and transform themselves. Throughout, Damour offers unstintingly practical advice to parents about how to talk with their daughters about what matters most and in ways that they are likely to be heard.”—Kimberlyn Leary, Ph.D., associate professor, Harvard Medical School

About the Author:

After graduating with honors from Yale University, DR. LISA DAMOUR received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the University of Michigan. She has worked for the Yale Child Study Center and is the recipient of training fellowships from the Pediatric AIDS Foundation, Yale’s Bush Center for Child Development and Social Policy, and the University of Michigan’s Power Foundation. She is the author of numerous academic papers related to education and child development. Dr. Damour directs Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls, maintains a private psychotherapy practice, consults and speaks internationally, and is a faculty associate of the Schubert Center for Child Studies and a Clinical Instructor at Case Western Reserve University. She and her husband have two daughters.

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