Bring nuance, depth, and meaning to every conversation you have The Art of Communicationis for anyone who senses that they could be communicating on a deeper level. Perhaps you are a confident communicator but suspect there may be more to the art of conversation that you have not yet been able to access. Or perhaps you feel that your conversations lack depth and meaning and that you’d like to enrich your relationships with others, if only you knew how. This book will address your concerns and show you how to engage wholeheartedly with others. There’s more to conversation than just clear, rational thinking. Left-brain rationality is important, of course, but neuroscience increasingly shows that the right-brain skills of creativity, intuition and spontaneity are essential in good communication. In this guide, you’ll discover ways of tapping into the full conversational potential that lies dormant within you, adding a level of nuance and watching the result as your relationships blossom. You may even find that untapped value in the form of new insights, ideas and creative thoughts, emerges from your daily conversations. • Access the more nuanced arts of conversation to create strong connections and tangible results
• Build cross-disciplinary, cross-cultural connections to communicate effectively with people from different backgrounds
• Activate your whole mind — not just your intellect — to bring creativity and depth to communication
• Learn to be open-hearted, spontaneous, vulnerable, intuitive, and captivating in every conversation you hold From communication guru and bestselling author Judy Apps, The Art of Communication will show you how to breathe life into your relationships and produce powerful new thinking enabling you to transform the world you live in. Table of Contents: Introduction — Amazing Conversations Prologue - Just Another Conversation Memorable Conversations Frisson of Connection What is the art of communication? The risks of spontaneity Popularity of the Unpredictable Stakes Too High Conversations that aren’t real Secret of whole-mind conversation Opting for Control Control rules What is Control? Being Thoroughly Prepared Conventional Conversational Skills Learned Spontaneity Calculation Control Agendas 1. Looking Good “Playing by the Rules” in social discourse A Carefully Planned Spontaneous Speech Acting a Professional or Expert Role Android Boss Deference Kills Living the Role Too Well Defending Self-image 2. Competing to Win Winning Profit or Power Winning the Argument Surpassing in Status/Comparing Conquering with Charisma 3. Pleasing and Appeasing Pleasing People/Needing to be Liked Put Others First 4. Presupposition Agendas Root Cause of Agendas is Fear Self-Consciousness Thinking About Trying Too Hard Inner Conflict Stress and Physical Tension No Way-out Through Control Error! Bookmark not defined The Alternative World of Real Communication Measurable and Unmeasurable Elements of Communication At last — scientific proof 1. Use Both Hemispheres of the Brain
The different qualities of attention of the two separate hemispheres of the brain are highly relevant to different kinds of conversation. Neuroscientific advances of the past fifty years have greatly enriched our knowledge in this area Different Ways of Viewing Life Age-Old Wisdom and the Latest Neuroscience Why Two Hemispheres? Left Hemisphere Right Hemisphere The Right-Brain and Relationship Whole Mind Thinking Shutting the Stable Door After the Horse has Bolted The Law of Unintended Consequences Big Wisdom in the Little Things 2. Be an Awakener
You wake up body and mind. As you let go, your breath releases a well of energy. Your body relaxes and becomes free to move with economy and grace, at one with thought and intention. This in turn frees your voice to vibrate in harmony with other people. You are joyfully alive to others and show up authentically Awaken your Life Energy Famous Performers What is the Life Force? Access Through the Body Alive and Un-Dead Access your Life Energy Different from Manic or Egotistical Energy Alert And Relaxed High Energy and Deep Relaxation Aikido Practice - Unbendable Arm Breathe for Energy and Flow Breathing in Ancient Systems Breathe like a Cat in Repose Ha Energy Breathing Breathing out to a Count Energy Expresses Itself in Joy, and Joy Energises The Piano Staircase What Brings You Alive? Awaken your Joyful Life Force Let Go Let Go Physically Sky-Gazing Relax in Company Free the Voice Voice of Inner Resolve The Mature Child Relax into Movement Find Your Balance Find Grace in Movement Andy Murray's Injury Movement reveals your inner processes Listening to Body Wisdom 3) Be Spontaneous in the Moment
You are attentive in the here and now, dancing spontaneously in the moment. Rather than consciously “noticing” and “focusing” you are awake to what is actually there in front of you, without your usual preconceptions, assumptions and internal chatter. This quality of attention, characteristic of right-brain thinking, radically affects the outcome of your conversation. 55 Be in the Now Time and Space No Fixed Plan Pay Exquisite Attention Awareness and Thinking are Not the Same Thing Missing the Moment to Catch the Moment Hearing and Seeing Accurately Seeing Things Afresh Always New Seeing with New Eyes Holding On to Curiosity How to BE in the Now Use your Peripheral Vision to Absorb the Whole Tune up Your Five Senses Practise Mindfulness Deep Listening 4) Be Wholehearted
When you embrace your energy and go all-out to follow what you love, you communicate at a higher frequency that inspires and energises. True insight emerges when you keep your mind open in the uncertainty of 'not-knowing' instead of assuming you already know what people are like. You neither push solutions nor force an analytical approach, but connect with trust. This means having the courage to be vulnerable The Real 100% Life Force in Sport Qualities of wholeheartedness Be Happy to Not-know Leaving the Door Ajar Holding Back Opening to Flow Ways to Nurture Flow Trust the heart — Allow Vulnerability Vulnerability and Self-Protection in Music Mastery Michelle Obama and Openness Speaking Through Fear Practise Trust 5) Call Forth Creativity and Intuition
When you allow intuition to emerge without stress or forcing, answers pop up spontaneously, ready made and complete from your deep well of holistic intelligence within — creative, generative and wholly appropriate. You, your ego, disappears and pure consciousness remains. 75 Imagination and Creativity Ideas and Intuitions Pop Up Fully Formed Non-Linear Happens When you're Looking the Other Way Sparks of Inspiration in Conversation The Right Soil for Blossoming Creativity in the Air Creative Conversation Leaps of Understanding in the Haiku Being Endlessly Naive and Delighted and Curious Scientists at Play Happy Mistakes in Science Exquisite Art from Broken Parts Awareness Arrives with the In-Breath Intuition, your Other-than-Conscious mind The Japanese Tsunami and Counter-Intuition Recognising Intuition How to Develop Intuition Acting “As If” Leave your Ego Outside and “Disappear” Judith DeLosier's Active Dreaming Practice 6) Enjoy Communion and the Emergence of Something New
Awake and aware, vibrating in harmony with another human being, sometimes even in silence, you experience human communion at its most creative. Time slows; barriers dissolve and both of you lose your sense of a separate self in a phenomenon of generative human communion. Together, you give birth to something new and exciting Connect — to Self and Others Seeing Each Other Touching and Hearing A Man to do Business With Love Energy True Empathy Know Thyself Self Compassion Practice The Best Help Ever Being in the Space Merging with Your Art Communication is More Than Words Stillness and Silence Quietness in Song Movement Within Stillness Creativity in the Space A Special Russian Meeting — Gorbachev again The Big Picture Enter into the Moment of Connection It's all love Supportive Nurse Last Day of School Beyond Words in Football Love in business? You Must be Joking Playing the Whole Keyboard Creating change Last words on the planet Index
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