Navigate the challenges of co-parenting with practical advice and legal tips.
So you did it. You separated. And now the kids that you always planned to raise together are being raised apart. Most people don’t start a family expecting not to see their children every day, and yet roughly half of us end up in that scenario. From there, it’s a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure — and there are many choices you can make.
Your Place or Mine? is a detailed resource for separating parents. It will help you navigate the legal system, including negotiating a settlement, mediation, and litigation, and explains the nuances of different paths to dispute resolution. It also provides specific advice about what to include in a compassionate separation agreement, such as specifying how far parents can live from each other, where transitions take place, how to handle kids’ belongings, communication, future disputes, and introducing your child to a new partner.
Schwartz introduces you to several families (including her own) with separated parents, as well as adults who were raised by co-parents, and offers their insights. She also provides accessible advice from psychologists on kids’ mental health, as well as tips from family law lawyers, who share anecdotes about the world of co-parenting.
Charlotte Schwartz takes us through a compelling, poignant and informative journey on how to manage a loving divorce — where each partner’s humanity is kept in tact, and children continue to thrive. This book didn’t just teach me about how to do conscious uncoupling well, it taught me about how to be a better human in all my relationships.
— Annahid Dashtgard, CEO, Anima Leadership and Author, Bones of Belonging
Your Place or Mine? is equal parts “wise divorce guide” (written by your lawyer) and “compassionate support book” (written by your best friend). With engaging and lucid prose, Ms. Schwartz interweaves her personal experience with the wisdom of experts in the field. Through practical suggestions and relatable personal stories, she clearly outlines the important steps to parenting through divorce. We arrive at the understanding that to raise resilient children who feel safe, seen and understood in their world, we have to learn to navigate the ensuing conflict and grief with respect for one another. Cultivating such compassion is essential to both fostering improved developmental outcomes for our youth, and to allowing more resilient and kind coparents. Your Place or Mine? is the third partner divorcing parents will return to again and again.
— Dr. Tanya Cotler, PhD, CPsych Licensed Clinical Psychologist
About the Author:
Charlotte Schwartz is a parent of four and a family law clerk. She spent fifteen years working closely with clients on their divorces, helping them navigate co-parenting, before co-parenting became her own reality. Charlotte lives on a tiny urban farm in Toronto’s east end.